Things I'll Never Have..

I'll never be able to dye my hair, not for more then 24 hours. By the time it dries, and I wake up my hair rejects it and it all flakes off. Bye bye self expression.
I can't pierce my face. Hell, i can't even pierce my ears twice without them getting infected (no matter how well I take care of them). I only have one earring, in one ear, because the other won't take it. Bye Bye self expression.
I'll never have a tattoo, thanks dermatographic urticaria, but my skin will reject the lovely ink.Bye bye self expression.
I can't even CURL my hair. Bye Bye self expression.
I'll never be who I want to be. So I quit.
I'm jazmin, the girl who will be nothing but that one girl. nothing special about her appearance.
seriously, i fucking quit.

Fresh Start;

 I wander through this corridor, nothing has changed. Paintings obtaining the same faded memories, cascading dreams from long ago. The demon hasn't chased me, not for miles, yet I run--eager to retreat into your arms. Though your arms aren't here, not anymore, they lie just beyond my reach. Each time I get closer I slip farther away, trembling in fear of this demon who owns my existence, each and every breath I take. So I hide in a new disguise, drenched in black and blue. I'm not suffocating, I didn't drown. I'm still here, running with the echoes of footsteps of those before me. Trying, trying not to trip over my shoes, and let him surpass me, controlling the key to my mind, and spirit.
For now, I'll keep running, though I feel a flood of relief, I just want to run. Until I'm safe from the harms of my own.